Hey fam! I’m Raye, ‘founder’, creator, and HBIC of this little blog site.  A little bit about me, I’m in my 30s, non-binary, from the mid-west, and have a pretty good day job. When I’m not doom-scrolling, I enjoy being creative, reading, taking pictures, and annoying my friends on Snapchat. I’m poly, kinky, into BDSM, and very, v e r y queer. There’s more to me, but it’ll come out in posts and reviews, in time. Promise! 

I was talking to a partner about how I was feeling some intense imposter syndrome about this project. I first mentioned this little project of mine to him in early 2021.  There was a vision, a plan, and an end goal of sorts. The plan and end goals are still the same, but, the vision changed, in a good way. 

But, I was telling him how I felt like an imposter doing this. I asked the question, ‘what gives me the authority to do this.’ Rhetorically, of course. He replied asking me what makes anyone an authority? 

What *does* make someone an authority? 

Is there even an answer for that? Sure, there’s schooling and researching, but even still, does that make someone an authority on any subject? Is it just some made-up idea rooted in racism and oppression? It’ll take just a couple of minutes, and maybe I’ll even post a link you can click on, but, look up the word authority. Every definition has some version of “power over people” in it. 

Here’s the thing tho, I’m not seeking power. I’m not here to influence y’all into anything. Well, maybe influence more self-love, but, that’s it. I’m doing this because this is something I wish I had around when I was today years old. I want a place that talks about what it’s like to be sexually active size 30, fat femme. Extra bonus points if they did real-life reviews of sex toys, so I’m not wasting my money on something I can’t use, or even return! Extra, Extra bonus points if this person was black and queer. Representation will never not be important. 

So that leaves me here. I’m a person who wants to just wants to help others, and maybe help myself while I’m at it.  But if you’re still asking, “who you think you are?”. Well, I have a formal background in writing and education. I’ve been making myself orgasm since I was a teen, I’ve done sexual health outreach, and I’ve attended many, many, many classes in kink and BDSM. And well, I’ve been fat my whole life. I’ve slept with both cis women and cis men. Also queer peeps as well. I’ve done a lot, and really, I just love talking about sex. 

And that fam, is me, in a longer nutshell than I thought. 

I honestly hope that if you’re reading this, that you’ll find something useful here. I also hope you stick around and join me on this adventure. It’ll be fun, or at the very least, pretty entertaining.